Is violence towards women really the default setting of the male mentality? Christopher Zumki Finke, the author of "A New Dad Asks: If Male Violence Is the Biggest Threat to Women, How Do I Raise a Kind Son?"seems to think so and urges all other men to assume collective guilt and atone for the misogyny and vicious behavior of some members of our gender.
Sorry, Mr. Finke, I refuse to accept blame for a crime that I've never committed. Further, I believe that being expected to take that kind of heat is not only degrading to men, it in turn also feeds a sterotype of women as helpless creatures and and encourages them to play the victim card instead of standing up for themselves and their rights and fighting back against abusers. Especially for mothers, such assertiveness is essential not just for their own survival but as an example for their daughters.
And speaking of setting examples, it's obvious that men's behave towards the opposite sex is likewise heavily influenced by family upbringing. The best thing a father can do for his son as my father did for me is to set a positive example. Sadly though, one of the biggest disappointments and insults that conscientious fathers and sons face is the unjust tarring by radical and misandric feminists and the media of all males as rapists and violent oppressors of women.
Personally (and no doubt as the result of what my father taught me), as far back as I can remember, I was a male proto-feminist before the latter term was even coined. I've never had a problem with a qualified female in positions of authority any more than I would have with a qualified male, and I vehemently oppose gender-based discrimination.
In the U.S. publicity is skewed towards aggressive and violent males ("If it bleeds, it leads") thus giving the misimpression that this is how all men behave. It doesn't matter that there are probably millions of other men who quietly go about their business, would never even think about raising a hand against a woman,and who automatically consider and treat them as their equals without giving it a second thought. However, you'll never hear about them because they don't seek the limelight for doing the right thing. But it's time that their their presence is acknowledged. In the name of fairness, aren't they just as deserving of the same respect from society that women expect for themselves?
4 comments:
I can't tell you how much I agree with this. I appreciate the attention paid to domestic violence in recent years, and that more women are getting help to leave than at another other point in history, but I loathe how domestic violence is portrayed as only a problem of violent men vs. defenseless women.
It's sexism towards both men and women, sexist against men for portraying them (although in most case unintentionally) as being these naturally violent monsters, and women as being helpless pitiful creatures.
It also ignores the reality of female vs. male domestic violence which is FAR more common that people know, and something I know firsthand growing up in an abusive home.
Sheldon,
Thanks for your reply. I think that you've described the problem, especially the issue of female vs. male domestic violence, more succinctly than I ever could.
I, too, thank you, Sheldon. In fact, women initiate domestic violence at about the same rate as me do. Domestic violence is an equal opportunity crime. Check publications by people such as Erin Pizzey, Denise Hines, Myriam Denov and many more researchers and authors. Also, see Martin Fiebert's online bibliography of almost 300 articles about assaults by women on men. Men have been demonized for the past four decades or longer, and that demonzation has become the default position, to the detriment of the truth.
Lou,
Thanks for your input. That's an impressive laundry list of sources for supporting your assertion, one which I have long since believed to be the case.
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